- You learn a lot being a dad to twin boys.
- What works for me might not work for you.
- The best way to invest is to be who you are.
If you live life long enough you’re going learn things along the way.
I used to think most of what we become is taught.
Environment, structure, discipline. Do the right things long enough and you get predictable outcomes. That sounds nice.
It’s also wrong.
There’s something much stronger at work. Something you don’t get to choose. And the more you fight it, the harder everything becomes.
I didn’t fully appreciate that until my wife and I had twin boys.
Same parents. Same routines. Same everything. And they couldn’t be more different.
That’s when it really clicked for me. Not just as a parent, but as an investor.
Because we do the same thing in markets all the time. We assume if we just follow the “right” process, we’ll all get the same results.
That if we copy what works for someone else, it should work for us too.
But that ignores the most important variable in the entire equation.
You.
Who you are. How you think. What you’re wired to do under pressure. That’s not something you can override.
And, honestly, you shouldn’t want to.
Once you stop fighting that, everything starts to make a lot more sense.
Nature vs Nurture
For years, I watched kids grow up around me and assumed most of what I was seeing was learned.
It felt logical that behavior was mostly a product of how they were raised.
Then, in 2022, we had twin boys. Like I said, same parents. Same house. Same room down the hall. Same sister, same trips, same everything.
As much as we try to carve out one-on-one time, they still want to be together and are constantly asking where the other one is.
It’s as close to a controlled experiment as you’re going to get, and they’re night and day.
One is calm. He can sit there and focus on one thing. The other is in constant motion, bouncing from toy to toy like he’s got somewhere to be.
One eats anything you put in front of him. The other negotiates every bite like it’s a contract.
One goes along with his sister, even when she’s being a little bossy. The other challenges everything and isn’t taking orders from anyone.
One is soft and cuddly. The other is convinced he’s the Incredible Hulk.
I could keep going, but you get the point.
Same environment. Same “nurture”. Completely different outcomes.
That’s when it hit me.
I’ve spent my entire career talking about how markets behave the way they do because of the participants.
But I’d never fully appreciated just how hardwired those participants actually are.
Once you see that clearly, it changes how you think about everything that comes next.
Objectives, Time Horizon and Risk Tolerance
As investors, we do share a few things.
We all want to make money. We all want to avoid losing it. Those are the basics. The survival stuff, like food, water, and shelter.
Beyond that, everything starts to diverge.
We all have different objectives. The “why” behind what we’re doing isn’t the same from person to person.
Some people are managing money professionally. They’re running a mandate.
Maybe it’s biotech, maybe it’s volatility, maybe it’s something else entirely. That doesn’t mean it’s how they would invest their own money. It’s just the job.
Others, like me, are focused on one thing. What’s the best way to grow capital for ourselves and our families?
Those are two completely different starting points.
Time horizons are all over the place, too.
My friend Kenny has been day-trading for decades. He’s back in cash before lunch on most days.
My friend Josh is buying things he plans to hold for 10 or 15 years.
I’m somewhere in between, and even that depends on the strategy.
My Primary Trend portfolio holds stocks for quarters and even years. My Divergence portfolio holds stocks for weeks and months at a time.
And then I’ve got retirement accounts and kids’ college funds that stretch out for decades.
Same market. Completely different clocks. And they all compliment each other to help me reach my personal goals. Not someone else’s. Mine.
And then there’s risk.
Some people are comfortable sitting through 20 or 30% drawdowns if it means they can make multiples on the upside. Others won’t risk more than a fraction of a percent on any single position.
Both can work. Neither is right for everyone.
What feels like a quick trade to one person might feel like a long-term commitment to someone else.
So, yes, we’re all different. That part I understood.
What I didn’t fully appreciate until recently is what’s actually driving those differences.
It’s not just age. It’s not just experience. It’s not just how much money you have or what your goals are.
A lot of this is wired into you.
And once you accept that, the question is no longer, “What should I be doing?”
It becomes, “How do I build something that actually fits who I am?”
Adapt to Who You Are
Even though my boys do almost everything together, I don’t treat them the same.
I can’t.
They respond differently. What works for one does nothing for the other. If I want a certain outcome, I have to communicate it in a way that actually lands.
One responds to incentives. The other needs a firmer tone. Same message, different delivery.
That’s not a parenting hack. That’s reality.
And the more I lean into that instead of fighting it, the easier everything gets.
I have no idea what kind of investors they’ll become one day. But I know this much. They won’t be the same. And they shouldn’t be.
That’s the part I think most investors miss.
They spend way too much time worrying about what someone else is doing.
What some hedge fund manager said on TV. What their friend is trading. What some guy on Twitter claims is the “right” way to do it.
Meanwhile, their own strategy doesn’t even fit who they are.
You don’t need to trade like Kenny just because he’s done by lunch.
You don’t need to hold everything forever just because someone else does.
And you definitely don’t need to take risks that don’t let you sleep at night just because someone else is comfortable with it.
Focus on yourself.
Figure out how you think. How you react. What you can actually stick with when things get hard.
Then build around that.
Because this isn’t about finding the perfect strategy.
It’s about finding the one you won’t abandon.
That’s just nature.
Once you stop fighting it, everything changes.
Stay sharp,
JC Parets, CMT
Founder, TrendLabs